Confession time. I have a consuming passion for Jesus, a deep love for people, an insatiable burning for God’s Kingdom to be established on earth…and yet sometimes, I find myself nearly paralyzed by what I can only classify as fear.
And no, I’m not speaking of what the Bible calls “the fear of the Lord,” which is the necessary beginning for all of our wisdom. I actually used to be terrified of God, but that was before I came to really know his affectionate love as Father. Today, I bask in the beauty of the right kind of “fear of the Lord,” acutely aware of his unspeakable power, mingled with his unquenchable love which will stop at nothing to see me completely conformed to his image. As I’ve often heard it said, “He loves us too much to leave us in our brokenness!” I no longer fear judgment or condemnation coming down from above. On the contrary, I have found God’s arms to be my safest space to drop my guard, allowing him to hold me and mold me.
Likewise, I don’t wrestle with a fear of the unknown, a fear of a lack of provision, the fear of death, or really any other fear concerning upcoming global events. In all of these things that are way above my ability to predict, influence, or control, I remain at peace to simply be a kid and trust wherever my Father leads me. Now, before you go putting me on a pedestal or cue a celebratory round of applause, let me share where I do wrestle against fear. Warning: it’s much more petty than all of the other things I just listed.
I sometimes struggle with a fear…of falling short.
Left unchecked, I can get trapped in a silent but poisonous thought loop that I will let down the people I love the most; a fear that I will neglect something that I should not have neglected, or that I will reflect something that causes needless disappointment or pain.
It is a false burden, believing that these “smaller” things are (or should somehow be) in my control, when there are a billion factors that demonstrate otherwise. It’s an exercise in futility, as I am just a guy who is working out his own salvation with fear and trembling and I am going to fall short in myriad ways this side of heaven. That’s all true.
But this fear of missing it is also an unholy desire masquerading itself as love. Idolatry, really. In fearing falling short, I am elevating myself in my own eyes to stand above the frailties, shortcomings, and weaknesses of the rest of humanity. I am drawing my worth from my performance (the very definition of “anti-gospel” if there were one). And I am empowering the masses to weigh in on something which only my Creator can give me. My worth.
In the moments I have feared failure, I have become like Moses begging God to “send someone else" to say and do the hard things. I have been like Gideon, laying out fleece after fleece to delay obeying what might be dangerous or unpopular. I have been like Saul, hiding in the baggage where God invited me to unashamedly step out, leading many to join me in following him.
Fear — whatever brand of fear you might wrestle with — leads to a lack of courage, analysis paralysis, emotional turmoil, and can even start to manifest in our bodies (more on the healing God has been up to in my life in this area soon). The truth is that life is too big for us. All of it. We aren’t built to be the saviors or sustainers of anything. We are just branches who draw our very oxygen from the life-giving Vine. Apart from him, we really can do nothing. But we are invited to surrender to the Savior and Sustainer of all, held up by the glorious promise that his Spirit will empower us to walk courageously with him as ambassadors.
Along the road, there will be times we exhibit unbelievable courage. There will also be times we seem to suffer temporary amnesia regarding the endless ways God has demonstrated his faithfulness to us, mirroring Peter in seeing the waves and taking our eyes off of Jesus. This is precisely why God gives us his Spirit to “teach us all things and to remind us everything we have forgotten” (see John 14:26). Breathe that in for a moment. You aren’t called to place your faith in how faithfully you can practice your faith, but rather to tenderly, imperfectly, and passionately put your faith in HIM, the Faithful One. The pressure is off, beloved one. You don’t have to hold you or anyone else together. That’s his job.
Here are four ways I have been walking in greater freedom and peace in this area of my life. I pray they speak to you too! Fear not, friend. He’s got you!
1) Get honest about what you fear
Recently, I had a dear friend who has been joining me in praying for my physical healing share a word that was hard to swallow. He said, “I see something holding onto you tied to the fear of man. There is somewhere you’ve pulled back based on what others might think.” Ouch. It was given in humility and love, but there was something in me that wanted to immediately resist it.
We don’t like being told we are afraid of anything. We see it as weakness and immaturity. Here’s the thing. It’s both of those things…gloriously so! It is in our weakness that God’s grace delights to radiate the strongest, and our present immaturities are the canvas on which the Master Artist frames and shapes us into his character. Both are a lifelong process this side of heaven, and we’re not called to arrive anywhere other than dependence on him.
As I took a simple moment of reflection, I could see the truth of my friend’s words. This is an area that, in my own strength and sensitivity, I am weak. This puts me in the perfect position to drop all pretense and simply surrender, allowing God’s strength to mature me.
What are you afraid of or anxious about? Where do you feel weak?
2) Break up with “believing in yourself”
The dominating mantra of popular culture is identical to nearly every Disney movie: “Just believe in yourself.” And so, off so many of us go, into our airbrushed, photo filter, ‘only share the highlight reel’ versions of our world which are nothing more than a facade we present in an feeble attempt to impress the world and to convince ourselves.
The truth? We are naked and blind and wretched and poor, and Love has drawn near to restore our sight and clothe us in dignity and his righteousness. It is all HIS doing.
The call of Christianity is the opposite of “believe in yourself.” Please don’t bank your confidence or derive your worth from how well YOU can do it. Please don’t “believe in yourself!” Believe in HIM. Trust what HE says. Look to the hills. HE is where your help comes from.
You can lose the cape, Clark. You don’t need to be the hero to fly in and save the day. You can just be a kid held by your Father in a world that’s way too big for you. He isn’t just the Savior of your past. He’s your Savior, today and forever.
Where do I need to shift my confidence off of my feelings about my performance and onto God’s faithful love for me?
3) Get in his Word
The Bible talks about fear over 500 times. It is brimming over with stories and promises which we can trust as an anchor in uncertain waters. In the days since my friend shared with me, I have been soaking in the truth of God’s Word, slowing down to really allow his truth to be the loudest voice I hear.
Here are 32 scriptures which are most deeply ministering to me about overcoming fear. These are what I will be studying in the coming months and I’d love to invite you to join me!
When can I make regular time to be in God’s Word?
4) Bring your community close
We overcome the enemy by “the blood of the Lamb, the word of our testimony, and not loving our lives so much that we shrink back from death” (Revelation 12:11). The enemy of our souls thrives in isolation. If he can get us to wrestle with our sins privately and silently, he can wear us out, bury us in shame, and speak his twisted logic without any interference. It’s another ploy of idolatry to try to get us to be our own saviors. Don’t fall for it.
As we let people in (much like I’m letting you in here), we could fear they’ll respect us less. On the contrary, they'll see higher paths to freedom in their own lives. As I have been beginning to share what the Lord is growing in me to the people closest to me, any sense of shame is breaking as I remember, “no temptation has seized you except what is common to man, and God is faithful” (1 Corinthians 10:13). My spiritual family encourages, prays for, speaks life into, and sharpens me in walking out my healing from fear. It is a gift!
Who can I choose to allow near in vulnerability this week? (See James 5:16)
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